How to Overcome Fear of Change Through Self-Care
Just as a seed grows into a tree and the sun sets for the moon rise, we too, also experience change within each day. As quoted by Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, “change is the only constant in life.”
The summer break has recently come to a brisk end in Canada as it makes way for Fall. The leaves are changing colour and dropping to the ground, the seeds we planted many months ago are ready for harvest and the days are becoming darker and shorter. It is a time of transition not only for Mother Nature, but also for each individual. The season change brings us a beautiful reminder that within our own lives, we too, will go through many different stages and phases. Some of the seeds that we plant will grow and flourish with perseverance and nourishment, while other roots that we’ve planted may no longer serve us, and that’s fine too. We have the power to give energy to the seeds that we wish to see grow into the next phase of our life. Remember: nothing in life is permanent, everything is susceptible to positive change.
I have been in a constant state of transition since setting off on my wanderlust journey many years ago. Just within the past year, I have moved towns four times. Although I’m deeply grateful that I have had the opportunity to explore this beautiful world of ours; leaving a community you grow to love, people you have connected deeply with and the stable, grounding feeling you have only just begun to establish, can be challenging. I clearly remember the time I called my sister back home in Australia in tears, confessing that I felt completely alone in a town where everyone had long-established friendships with little room for the ‘new girl’. I also recall the day I was rushed to a Greek hospital (which differed GREATLY to the clean, organized hospitals I had become accustomed to) with severe bronchitis and an eye infection. I felt physically exhausted, combined with the emotions that came with being in love with a man who could not return these feelings. At the time, these changes felt like the end of the world. I fell into victim mode and blamed every one else, leaving me feeling as though I had no control over my own life. Although tough at the time, these experiences have taught me invaluable lessons. I now truly believe that we are always being guided and supported in life. I am grateful for all of the difficult times I have experienced as looking back, I can see that I just was being guided in a different direction that has lead me to create a life I truly love.
Change is often perceived as a place of unease and uncertainty. It requires you to step outside of your comfort zone, face the unknown and trust that it is all going to work out. This is scary stuff! Fear of change will cause you to question and doubt yourself or you may have learned how to completely avoid any situation that involves change.
Yet, change is inevitable. Everyone will experience break-ups, go between jobs, move home and work through both breakdowns and breakthroughs in our lifetime. Whether we perceive each shift as negative or positive, change is inevitably an opportunity for learning, self-growth and at times, transformation. Hindsight and wisdom is only granted through change. Transformations encourage us to take a break from our routine, experience new things and discover more about who we are and who we want to become.
When you’re in transition or experiencing changes in your life that leave you feeling lost, confused and vulnerable, know that you are not alone. Most of the people in your life will also experience this resistance to change. Openly sharing your fears with your loved ones can help you release them. You may receive conflicting advice and opinions, therefore it is important to follow your intuition.
Allow these simple tips to guide you in shifting through change with ease, grace and resilience:
- Breathe: The first thing to do is to simply breathe. Create a little bit of space, stillness or at least some slowing-down of the mind.
- Listen: We each have an inner-wisdom that can provide us with guidance and clarity if we listen deeply. When you feel relaxed, check-in with yourself. Notice what is coming up for you and trust your inner-voice.
- Trust: Joy, happiness and peace are all emotions that each of us want to feel consistently. However, it’s also important to allow yourself to experience and learn from every part of your being: the light and the dark. Do not avoid or push away the things you don’t want to feel such as grief and anger. Allow them to arise for you, try to understand their underlying cause and trust that they too will pass.
- Let go of attachment: Feeling attached to a positive feeling, experience or goal is completely human. It’s easy to become confused with thinking that happiness will only come when we reach a certain outcome or possess something of material value. When you release control and the need for things to go a certain way, you will undoubtedly be less disappointed if life has a different plan for you.
- Nurture yourself: During times of transition, it is even more important to love and nurture yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, stressed or worried, take time to relax. Take a warm bath, get a massage, and go for a walk in the forest, whatever it is that makes your soul happy. When you honour your needs you will notice how your energy increases, how your body relaxes and how your mind gains clarity.
- Positive Affirmations: Finally, remember how powerful your thoughts are. Manifest your true desires by repeating a positive affirmations every day. Some examples include:
- “I release my fear about this change.”
- “I am easing through this transition with grace and acceptance.”
Remember, when things feel like they’re falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.
“As far as I can tell, [success] is just about letting the universe know what you want and working toward it, while letting go of how it might come to pass. Your job is not to figure out how it’s going to happen for you, but to open the door in your head and when the doors open in real life, just walk through it. Don’t worry if you miss your cue. There will always be another door opening.” ~ Jim Carrey
– Sharna Rene